Superp's Journal

Well hello ladies! I was going to try and wait a bit longer before I start journaling here, but I really do miss my journal. It's good therapy, and it keeps me sane!!!
Three years since my last BFP that ended in mc at 12wks. We've been passively TTC since then, but this time we were not giving up. We've been trying this go around 6mths. So here I am after what seems like endless waiting for a BFP. Crazy right? Didn't think it would actually happen, but it seems it has.
I am 12DPO and just found out yesterday morning that we're PG! I still don't think I've come out of the eather but I'm estatic. My husband is trying not to get to attached to the idea. He said, "it's kind of early to get excited." I told him, "You better keep that bad moojoo away from me dude!!.." So I tried to convince him to get excited, he finally caved and said he was, but I don't believe him yet. LOL
So far, I had dizzy spells, hot flashes, tired- have no motivation, boobs hurt, heartburn, and MOOD SWINGS. Emphasis on MOOD SWINGS.
That's all for now ladies. Here's praying for a sticky bean. :)
P

:happydance: great to have you here, hun :hugs:. I think it takes a bit to sink in for some men, i know my OH was not as excited as me. I have to coax it out of him sometimes haha but now after a couple weeks he seems to be coming around :). you know they always say a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant, a man becomes a father when he sees the baby! Maybe once our OHs see a heartbeat or scan picture they will be on :cloud9:!!!

hey!! congrats, hun i hope its a sticky for ya!

congratulations hun its great to have you over here!!

I reaaaally hope its a sticky one for you this time and all goes well, i think women get a lot more excited than men in the early stages, its only once we've had a scan or we start to show that they can see something for all their efforts :rofl::rofl:

hey girls! Thanks for helping me get my new journal started. I've had a weird morning. Woke up automatically expecting my period as it is due today. Force of habbit I guess. Then remembered that it shouldn't be coming. Then suddenly, I got nervous. Please tell me that's normal!!!
Then this morning about 2.5hrs after having my normal breakfast of cheerios and blueberries with soy milk.. I started to feel yucky. So went to the kitchen to make a snack, only to have a hypo attach. Yuck. I didn't get too low only 74, so not technically hypo. But now I'm scared none the less. I keep trying to tell myself that I just need to adjust my food a little to make up for the extra action going on right now. Normally, it wouldn't bother me so much, I'd eat and move on, but now I really want this bean. So if someone else could say that they get a little shaky when not having snacks on time.... that would make me feel tons better.
Today, just tired. I could sleep for hours, and I'm not even a nap person! I've already had a nap and I want to go back to bed for a few hours. Heartburn, boobs less sore today... not sure that means anything. But at this point these are the symptoms I'm hanging onto.
Any way, long enough already. I've gotta go get my head right and start expecting good things!!!
:hugs:
P

i had to make a stop by here:)...take care of yourself hon...did you tell the kids yet or you will wait a bit?

hey hun, just wanted to say hi! I get the shakey feeling sick thing when I don't eat enough.

Oh Miel, thank you. No we've decided to only tell mom's and dad's at this point. We'll tell everyone else once we get in to see the doc and get the "Okay, everything looks good!" stamp. My mother balled like a baby when I told her. I called her at 6am the day I found out. She thought someone was in the hospital! LOL I didn't think of that before I called. But she was very happy when she got the news.

Michy. Seriously-Made my day!! :hugs: I feel like I can relax a bit anyway. If that's possible. Ha ha. I did manage to get to the grociery store today and picked up lots of healthy snacks and food. I usually eat really healthy but only about 1800 calories a day. I've got to adjust things a bit though, it'll take some getting used to. So used to watching my wieght, now I've gotta make sure my body is getting enough fuel to do the job. :)

Lots of :hugs:
P

yep you need to nourish your body to have a healthy bean:)

I'm joining in on your journey :hug:

the waiting for your period thing is normal for the first 8 weeks lol i am still kinda on knicker watch!!!

Aww hun for the first feek weeks i was knicker watching for my period too, i think its only really stopped the last week or so, its just force of habit!!

I test my mum at 6am too she had a freak out wondering what was going on lol, you just get so excited you wana tell everyone

Hey superp, don't think your getting away from us just cause you've got a bean!! I'm still watching your journal hun, and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy :hugs:

Yeah ditto from me! Will be stalking your journal!

:hug:

Yaya xxx

Hey girlies! Wow, what a strange feeling, this whole thing is alot to take in. Been taking special care of myself... I really miss my energy. I hope it comes back after first tri, I'm so not used to needing a nap. Today, I slept for two hours on the couch while my youngest slept. I woke up like, "crap what time is it!!" Drool all over my face and pillow. :rofl: I had a good chuckle at myself, and was so glad DH wasn't home to witness me as sleeping beauty. Wow. But I feel tons better now, so I must have really needed it. Still on knicker watch, every time I pee. I'm relieved that you all did it too. Makes me feel normal.
Yesterday, I put on my skinny size 8's and I was a bit bloated, had the muffin top effect goin' on. Kinda sucked. Today, they fit fine again. My first experiance with bloating, it was lovely. :) Awweee. This morning, had a weeeee bit of nausia. But it was in waves and not that bad. And my super sense of smell is kicking in too. Which, I think I would rather live without. YUCK! I live with 3boys people, and I have 2 dogs. I am probably the cleanest freak you've ever met, but my house when I get home still smells of sweety feet and dog. LOL Never noticed until the past two days. I thought maybe using airfreshiner, but reconsidered as it would then smell like flowers, with sweety feet and dog. Double yuck.
Also am craving RED MEAT!!! Again. I don't know if it's a protien thing or iron, but the smell makes me crazy. Must have red meat. That will take some getting used to too. Not used to eating it, or even liking it.
Called the doc. got my first appointment set up for Monday the 19th of May. Which is awesome, cause I will hopefully be able to relax after I talk to the professionals. I'm excited but nervous too. I just keep praying that things are good, and trying very hard to leave my worries in God's hands. Also talked to the nurse yesterday for a bit of hand holding. I was worried about getting shakey. She said that I shouldn't be too concerned, have some OJ in the morning when I wake, then breakfast and that I should snack about an hour after eating. I took her advise this morning and everything today has gone well. So I think that'll work out okay for now, but I'm not crazy about OJ so I may find something else. Feel better after talking it over with her.
My mother bought me maternity clothes today. LOL I thought it was very sweat and she can't wait to give them to me. She said, "I know you're not showing yet, but they were on clearnace and I got a really good deal on some really cute clothes. So you'll have something to wear in the fall." Isn't that so cute. I'm excited too, in truth I can't wait to wear maternity clothes... but I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself. Just one day at a time. Right?
Anyway, sorry so long. My modem is acting up so I don't know if I'll be back on tomorrow or not. May be a few days till I get a new one going.
Lots of hugs ladies. :hugs:
P

That was nice of your mum to pick up those clothes for you, ive seen loads reduced in the sale, and been sooooo tempted to buy them!!

The tiredness is a nightmare i could sleep all day if you let me, you just cant seem to stay awake!!

Well not a whole lot to report today. I switched my prenatal this morning and that helped me a lot. Didn't feel as icky today. Don't know if it was related, I guess tomorrow I shall see. Had an early nap this morning with two boys. They thought I was insane, making them nap at 11am, after eating lunch at 10:30am!!! I know, I've gotta get a handle on my eating times, cause I suffered for it tonight. So hungry by dinner time, it wasn't even funny. I would have stolen food from the kids by 6pm. LOL
Got my window box painted today. Made the boys help me. They loved getting all painty and it turned out really cute. I raked the yard today, dishes and once over on the house too. I was just tired of being tired, so I napped and got on with it. Can't stand sitting still. It's enough to drive me nuts.
Horrible indegestion at the moment, with heartburn. Wanted fish fry for dinner tonight, but when DH brought it home I couldn't get within a 10foot radius of it and I ended up eating chicken instead. LOL Plus, I noticed last night that I can feel the heat radiating off of me. My DH was even like, WTF, he said, "let me feel your butt, its always cold..." Well, my a$$ is anything but cold these days. I feel like I'm having hot flashes sometimes, I strip down to the bare min. and lay spread eagle. I keep thinking this is only 4wks!!! Good times... Looking forward to every moment.
Hugs girls and have a good weekend!
P

Sounds like your getting the man thing of running around the house in your pants lol

Hope you have a lovely weekend hunni

Awww I hope sickness and put off by food doesn't last long hun. Whole idea of pregnancy is to enjoy food without the guilt! Hehe.

I'm still knicker watching hun and I'm 26 weeks!!

Take care xx :hug:

So today was my appointment with the OBGYN. He gave me a crap load of reading: magazines, books, printouts ect., free samples. It was just like christmas!!! LOL Took tons of blood, as he wants to test everything to make sure my levels are good this time. I should get the results back tomorrow or day after. I hope it's tomorrow, I can't stand waiting for stuff like this. I wish they could run blood quicker, I WANT TO KNOW NOW. I keep trying to keep the "worry does no good" state of mind... but sometimes that's easier said than done.
Once he gets them back he's setting up an early scan for me based on those levels. That is so cool. His thought was that we'll both be able to relax a little once we see everything going well. I thought that was extreamly thoughtful of him, and I have to say I've been very impressed with his proactive approach so far. It makes me feel a little less scared.
Nurse confirmed that I'm 5wks, and EDD is Jan. 19th. I'm so excited!
Symptoms are much the same, only frequent urination is kicking in now. Plus I think I'll need a bigger bra already!!! I'm so in denial about going to a Dcup. :) I'll probably hang in there a little longer before I go and splurg on bras.
Got my catalog in the mail today and told hubby to buy me some sexy undies, cause before we know it that won't be very practical/comfortable anymore. :) My brain is so all over the place... ehh
Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for the posts girls.
P

Just visiting your journal so that I can keep an eye on you and the little bean. Sounds like everthing is going well! :happydance:

Sending big :hug:

Yaya xxx

just saying hello!

Once you hear a doc or a m/w confirm how pregnant you are of give you an EDD it makes it all so much more real ... well as real as it can get until your scan!!

Glad it went well though!!

hey - just wanted to pop in and make sure all was going well hun. we miss you over in ttc but am very happy that you are in here! :hugs:
:hug::hug:

Thanks ladies. Nurse called today said all my bloods look good!
GIGANTAC SIGH!!!! :cloud9:
Can't tell you how relieved I was to hear that. Sweeewww. So moving on to my next appt. which is set for June 16th when I'll get my first scan. So stoked about that, and I'm just going to take each day as it comes now while trying to remember to breathe. (with Gods help LOL)
Incredibly tired today, moody- cried a few times, and super bitchy. Plus boobs are bigger still!!! Sadly my sister told me today, that hers didn't stop growing until like month 6!! Holy cow, how big are mine gonna get. I'll just say that DH should be a very happy man. LOL
While signing the boys up for elective summer school today, I asked the youngest, Xavier 3, if he'd like to go to school. His reply as he threw his arms tightly around my neck, "Oh, Auntie thank you so much that makes me so happy." He was so genuine and warm about it, I just burst into tears... he's just getting so big. I expected and hoped secretly that he'd say no. :( But he's ready for school and to be social with his own age group. It's bitter sweat I must say. They've only been here for 8mths now going on 9... but they've grown so much. :cry: I'm proud of them and us, but it's hard to cut the strings a little.
Gosh, I'm such a sap. See what I mean ladies....
Anyway, trying to turn in early tonight so I don't feel so cruddy tomorrow. Lots of hugs. :hugs:
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Glad all is looking well xxx

:hi: I'm so happy everything is going good:hugs:

Heya Hon!
Just popping in, all my posts have disappeared :( So glad everything is going well for you!!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Thanks for the posts. Haven't been on in a while cause I don't feel much like doing anything. In fact today I feel anti-social, cranky and weepy... then sometimes just fine. I'm still exhausted. I wish I had a maid. :) Where's the cleaning fairy when you need one?
Yesterday, I had a bit of a freak out moment. Went to the ladies room and found brown spotting, not lots, enough to leave a tiny bit on my panties and seem it when I wiped too. Trust me it was plenty enough to send me into a panic. Called the nurse and she said it could be implantation, and as long as there's no cramping or red blood that I should relax and to call if I get scared or have any other questions. Well, it went as quickly as it came, seems to have dried up about 30 min after I found it. Hopefully never to return again. But with my past mc I have to say that I'm having a really hard time finding my optimisim. :( I really don't like me right now. I wish I could ignore myself. If you know what I mean? It doesn't help that I didn't have very sound sleep last night, I kept waking myself up to pee and check my undies. Then temped this morning to make sure. Temp was still good, so I don't know why I just cant' shake this. I'm hoping two hours of extra sleep tonight does the trick, so I can wake up on the sunny side tomorrow. Blah!!!
So ladies, I'm asking for some good vibes if you've got any to spare. I promise to return them very soon... in fact tomorrow. I'm determined to pull myself up and think positive.
Night girls. Lots of hugs. :hugs:
P

I hope you feel happier soon hun xx :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Arg!! I feel like a cow, my middle is so thick it's not even funny. It actually is kinda funny, but I'm so not liking it. LOL I keep trying to suck it in and stop slouching.. well I've managed to sit straight but sucking it in isn't working so well. My ligaments and muscules are so sore, it aint gonna happen. So I've just been wearing my "fat" clothes. Another funny thing happening right now... my bra is under so much stress from the wieght of my breasts that the underwire creaks when I move. :rofl: (fit of giggles) I can't stand it, this is comedy! Other wows the past few days, I've had super dooper heartburn, and gas coming out of both ends almost non-stop. I'm imbarrassed as hell most of the time, cause it just keeps coming. Topped with headaches on and off. One refreshing thing is the tiredness is easing a little the past three days, or I'm just getting used to being drag-a$$ed. I haven't decided yet. Still don't have loads of energy, but have managed to stay ontop of half the house chores for a few days now. So proud. :)
All and all I'm feeling reasured that things are okay and I'm thankful for all my little "problems" at the moment. :)
Hope you all are doing well, lots of hugs!!
P

:hug:

My tiredness has eased way up, so you have something to look forward too in the coming weeks!!! So... getting think, huh?? We need a belly pic!

Yes, thick.. due to bloating yesterday was terrible!! Today not too bad. If it was bump I'd post but now it's water/gas and my little spare tire. LOL that's what makes it so funny. :)
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Hiya. Just thought I'd pop in with some :hugs: and :dust:< cleaning fairy :laugh2:

Well we had a bit of a scare last night. While bathing the youngest nature called and I had to pee. Hubby was helping and boy in tub (we have one bathroom) so I sit down pee and wipe. Only to find bright red blood!! No cramping at all just blood. My DH caught a glimps and eyes nearly flew out of his head. So I gracefully exited the bathroom and started pacing. Ended up calling a friend to sit with the boys while we went in. Such a good friend.
Any how, had 15 million people giving me the "awe hun" look... Which btw, for any nurses out there reading, is not very comforting. Really, some of them need better poker faces! Had a vaginal, things are still closed. Had a scan they said I'm 6 wks not 7.5 and weren't able to detect a hearbeat but weren't too concerned as it's "still pretty early". I couldn't even look at it. The last scan I had didn't go well. So I'm trying very hard at the moment to not get attached. Bloods done and my levels were 5200, with a slightly elevated white count. Sent me home said things don't look too concerning and that "some women just spot". Which again, isn't all that comforting.
Now waiting for my doc to get the records and call me back with the next step.
Trying to convince myself that I'm just one of those women... not that easy to do. Especially when all the calculating I've done and my doc did I should be 7wks or so. Plus the ER last night said they couldn't compare my tests with my previous ones because they couldn't access my doc's files. I'm just horribly conflicted at the moment. I want the doc to call me and say, conclusivly that nothing is wrong. :cry:
So for now, still holding my breathe. Spotting cleared last night so that's good, I think. Expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
Sorry for being a bumber on you lovely ladies. Hope all is well and sending lots of :hugs:
P

:hugs::hugs: Hopefully all comes back well hun, it seems like it will so try not to worry!!

I'm sure everything will be fine - hang in there sweetie and keep us updated!

Hope everything works out great :hugs: Sending you some sticky dust :dust:
:hug:

Oh hun, what a torrid time you're having. It must be so hard with a previous m/c not to panic but my cousin has had three healthy children and as far as I know she bled fairly regularly through all of them. Try and keep on the positive side, it sounds like you have a good doctor at least. Sending you lots and lots of sticky :dust:, positive vibes and massive :hug:

:hug:

My cousins wife had a shock when she first bled and shes also continued to bleed here and there throughtout her pregnancy.

Wish you all the best love.

Hold on in there. :hugs:

My doc called me in for a progesterone test last night. He said that everything from the ER looked okay, put me on pelvic rest. What exactly is pelvic rest anyway? Take it easy I assume. So just waiting on the last test results. Fingers crossed that it'll all come out good.
Thanks ladies for all of you support and keeping me saine.
P

Pelvic rest = take it easy + no sex or tampons

Glad to hear your test results were good. Hope the last one is good too :hugs:

I have low progesterone. So I go to pick up an Rx today. He didn't want to have me in any sooner so I'm going to take that as a good sign. I'm off to relax and destract myself from myself... if that makes any sense at all. Talk to you all later.
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:hugs:I hope everythings ok huni

:hug:

thinking of you hun, hopefully some rest will help things get back to normal. It can't be easy with the boys to look after xx

Just been catching up on ur journal hun - try not to panic, my SIL bled continuosly throughtout her PG and her little DD is now nearly 3. Must have been terrible for u tho :hugs:

Finally made it over here after last months drama, so checking out all the PG journals now :happydance:

:hugs: At least they know what it was and have given you something that can help you. I hope everything only gets better from here on.

Thanks to all of you wonderful girlies who are still checking in on me. I'm still hanging in there. More confused than ever. Spotting quit then came back, the quit and came back now it's gone again. What a ride I'm telling you. I'm currently on hold with my OB's nurse to see if I can have a panel drawn just to check on things before next monday. I think I've become my own worst enemy these days, funny the things that you'll think when you just don't know. So, I cannot stand speculating any longer and I'm hoping that the Dr. will understand and fit me in. Hubby looks at me like I'm morbid when I said this morning, "if it's gone then lets just get on with it already!" So that's how broken I've become over the span of a week. Sadly, I think he'll be more crushed than me this time... If things don't work out. Fingers XXX that they do, but again trying to keep it real.
Nurse just said that Dr. wants to draw a panel again today (before I even finished explaining), he'll get me my results tomorrow. So relieved and scared too- feel like a wieght is lifted but then my stomachs in knots now. I'm such a mixed up girl lately, and I'm sure that hormone suppliments aren't helping any. LOL
Well I'll stop here, and ask you all to pray for a miricle and pray for me too. Lots of hugs girls. :hugs:
P

Oooh, I haven't been in here for a while, I'm so sorry to hear of the rough time you're having!!! You're in my thoughts and prayers Hon! I know you've heard it a million times, but it CAN be normal to spot!!! And you're being treated, so that's another positive! Good luck for your tests, post the results when you can! We're all here for ya sweets.
:hugs:

You seem to have the right attitude honey: Hope for the Best and Expect the Worst. It's all any of us can do in any given situation. :hugs:

I'll be thinking of you.

Well, my progesterone is fantastic... duh! But my Hcg levels have risen less than 1000 points since last wed. Been having classic mc cramping on and off all day with bleeding. Called the nurse and had her call in a script for pain, now it's just wait and see when it kicks in completely. So I'm out girls. Thanks for all the support. Wishing you all the best health and happieness. :hugs:
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:cry::cry: I'm so so very sorry honey :hugs: :hugs:

If you need to talk PM me :hugs:

:hug:

Aw no... Im' so so so very sorry to hear this... :hugs: :hugs: I dont' know what to say. I'm thinking of you.
:hugs:

OH NO! Sweetie I'm SO sorry. :hugs:

I'm so very sad for you. :cry: I just hope things will work out for you in the future.

Lots of Love and :hug:

:hug::hug::hug:
So so sorry :cry:

I am so, so, so sorry.... that's all I know to say, I am just so sorry.

Nooooo! So so so sorry. I can't begin to imagine :hugs:

:hug:

:hug::hugs::hugs::hug::hugs::hug:

Oh sweetie im sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I hope to see you back here soon though, i'll miss you!!

I hope you're ok!

:hugs:

So sorry hun :hugs:

So very sorry I honestly don't know what else to say:( It must have been so hard to go through, I hope you finally get your little miracle soon:hugs:

These boards are so busy nowadays and I have been trying to take a break from it all this month, hence I missed your last few posts. However, having come across them today, I can't believe it. It must be so hard to take and there are no words to help relieve the pain and anguish you must be going through.

I do sincerely hope you are coping as well as can be expected and that you are back on your journey again really soon. :hugs:

Like Tishi I've also been having a break from BnB and missed your sad news. I am so very sorry hunnie. :hugs: Hope you are okay. :hugs:

Yaya xxx