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Rafwife's Pregnancy Journal [Includes Hypnobirthing]

   

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rafwife
May 9th, 2008, 14:41 PM
So I thought I would jump on the band wagon and start one of these, but I don't know how interesting I will be! :rofl:

I'll start with a bit of history. My OH and I have been together for almost 4 years, and married for just over a year. We were planning on starting a family after the summer so I joined this board as WTT. Things don't always go to plan though, and within a couple of weeks I ended up pregnant by accident!

I've had one previous miscarriage, which sadly I had to be in hospital for for awhile. I was very poorly indeed and at one point thought I was going to die due to an accidental overdose of drugs and a lot of hemorrhaging. It was really traumatic, and although I thought I had got over it, it's caused me a lot of worry in this pregnancy.

FIRST TRIMESTER

Week 3

So, I started getting really ill one morning, and then all through the day. I ignored it, as my period wasn't due for over a week. The next day I was still sick though, and had sore boobs. So, I tested a week early and got a :bfp: ! I was in complete shock. I knew that I had wanted to start trying later in the year, but all my emotions came flooding in. Was I going to be a good Mum? Could I go through another pregnancy? Was the same thing going to happen again? I was terrified!

I told my OH who was also worried, but more about things like: Can we afford it? Am I going to be a good Dad? Is it too soon?

If I'm honest, my OH is still getting to grips with it!

Week 4

So I went to my GP to confirm everything, and told him I was worried about my health (I was in hospital a lot late last year due to undiagnosed problems in my bowel area) he assured me that everything should be fine.

So with my pregnancy confirmed everything was feeling a bit more real! He booked me in to see the midwife the next week.

Week 5

Unfortunately between the two appointments I started to feel very ill. I had constant pain in my abdomen and right hand side that stopped me from sleeping. My out of hours GP immediately booked me into a bed at the hospital, so I arrived there at 3am one morning. They monitored me overnight, then scanned me the next morning. Unfortunately the scan was inconclusive, and they felt that with the pain and the scan that it was an ectopic pregnancy.

I was devastated. I'd had operations last year, and my body reacted very violently to the GA. I also knew that if it was ectopic I would not only lose the baby, but one of my tubes. If it wasn't ectopic then I had a higher chance of miscarrying due to the operation. They scheduled an emergency operation for that day and I just cried on and off until it was time.

When I came around from the GA, I had seizures for over an hour due to the drugs. This is very rare, but I was told that the pregnancy had not been ectopic, but they were now worried about an increased risk of miscarriage due to the effect the GA had on me.

I was sent home about 48 hours later. My morning sickness came with vengeance and I spent most of the time with my head down a toilet. I reasoned that it meant that everything was working ok, so I could put up with it.

Week 6

It was a week after my operation when I started bleeding and cramping. I totally panicked and just cried on the toilet for five minutes before I phoned the hospital. They told me to go and see my GP and come in if it got worse. My GP told me as best as he possible could that it looked like I was miscarrying, but they wouldn't be able to do anything until it got worse. I went home, dejected. The bleeding then cleared up 24 hours later. I saw my GP again the day after who said it was a good sign, and I had a scan booked for a few days later.


Week 7

My scan was booked for a Thursday morning, and there was a 2 hour backlog. I don't think I have ever been so nervous! I had a friend come with me, as my OH is posted away and there was no way I could have dealt with bad news on my own. I told the nurse about the bleeding, which they already had on my notes.

I was told by the doctor that they might not be able to see a heartbeat, and not to panic if they couldn't. Fortunately as soon as she scanned me there was a very strong heartbeat! :happydance: She said it was a very strong pregnancy considering everything that had happened, and was very pleased. Huge relief for me!

Week 8

I had my first Midwife appointment this week and it was awful! I was made to wait around for almost an hour. Then I was shown upstairs to her office, where she said very rudely. 'I don't have time to see you today, and anyway seeing you so early on is pointless given your history' (One previous loss and suspected ectopic)

She didn't have time to see me, because someone else had been given my appointment! I was feeling awful and really wanted to ask her some questions but she kept cutting me off then practically shooed me out the door!

I'm quite upset, but she says she'll see me again in a few weeks so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

I'm just taking each day as it comes. My cramps have come back and I'm trying to rationalise to myself that maybe this is just how my pregnancy feels. I haven't had anymore bleeding now though, so that's a positive sign.

I have a bump already, my boobs have gone up two cup sizes and none of my clothes fit! My morning sickness is still hanging over me with avengence. My legs have started to become very sore, like growing pains. Seems I better get used to all these aches and niggles now that I'm pregnant!

Week 9

My morning sickness is awful just now! I am WAY too well aquainted with my toilet bowl. I'm being sick a few times a day now, and just trying to sleep in the afternoons for a bit of respite. I still have period like cramps, and now that things have settled after my scan I'm happier to say that it's normal stretching and aches and pains.

I went for a job interview this week at a local pub/restaurant. I figure I have a long way to go until I need to be on maternity leave, and with OH posted away with the RAF I'm going to need something to fill my days! I start next week, and will be doing 3/4 shifts a week.

Week 10

OH and I decided to tell his family this week. I'm still not comfortable telling mine, as I haven't spoken to my Mum since March and we don't really get on. My family think I married young too, and I know that at 24 they'll tell me I'm too young to be a Mum. I just don't want to deal with it right now.

So OH rang his parents and they were shocked, but over the moon. We hadn't told anyone we were WTT, and had actually done the opposite and told everyone that we weren't going to have kids at all. We didn't want the pressure of people constantly asking when we were going to produce offspring! So the in laws are thrilled, and want to come down as soon as possible so they can take us out to buy some baby things. I think after the scare earlier though, I want to wait a bit. I think the MIL has secretly gone out and bought some things already though!

I started my new job this week too. I've been honest from the interview about my pregnancy, and all the staff are really great about it.

Week 11

I thought most of my morning sickness was behind me, as I haven't been sick in a few days. However, I still can't keep anything down this week.

So I was lying on the sofa watching TV about 45mins after eating a large fruit salad when I felt the rumblings. Well, I couldn't really move fast enough and was sick all over my dog (long haired retriever type) who had decided that lying in a sun spot at the bottom of my sofa was his idea of bliss. :rofl: He wasn't very impressed, and I had to then wrestle him into the bath which he hates. :rofl:

I've done something really stupid though.

I missed my midwife's appointment this week. :cry:

There was a power cut last night, and my alarm didn't go off. I rang, and because the midwife only visits once every 2 weeks, they can't see me. I haven't seen the midwife at all yet, and haven't even been booked in properly. :cry: Now I'm not going to see her until I'm almost 15 weeks gone, and won't have a scan until a few weeks after that!

I'm such an idiot! :hissy:

Week 12

Woke up one morning this week with bleeding and cramping :cry: I can't believe after everything that's happened so far, that we could still be losing the baby. I had prayed so hard that we'd get to this point, and now that we have it seems unbearable that we may still lose our baby.

I rang my GP, and because I was having cramps and bleeding he arranged to see me straight away. He arranged a scan for the next day, so I spent a very stressed night with my OH who was back for the weekend.

The next day we got an early appointment at the early pregnancy unit and had a scan done. Everything was perfect :cloud9: The doctor couldn't see any reason for the bleeding this time around so fingers crossed this is the last problem we have.

It seems amazing though that I still haven't seen a midwife!

Scan Pictures:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/nikkir/08062008358.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/nikkir/08062008356.jpg

Week 13

Two really great things happened this week! First, I got my very first pregnancy comment! :happydance:

I feel huge, but I'm worried that I'm stuck in the 'is she fat or pregnant?' stage. lol! :)

I went out with DH on my Birthday to a National Trust site and when we were paying the woman smiled at me in a knowing way and said 'Don't push yourself, if you get too tired then you can ask for the minibus to take you back to reception. Have a nice time.'

Aww :blush:

Second good thing is the best one!

I heard Bump's heartbeat for the first time! It was a steady 157bpm. :cloud9:

God help me when I can feel him kicking though, at the scan he was doing handstands and thrashing around and I only managed to get the heartbeat on the doppler for about a minute before he was off again! Mental baby! :rofl:

Week 14

Just back from my FIRST midwife appointment! It went really well though. She used a doppler and found Bump's heartbeat straightaway at a steady 160bpm. :happydance:

She was so nice this time, compared to last time. I'm really happy. TBH I was dreading it before I went!

The only issue was about my past medical history, and with two bleeds so far and the fact I am allergic to general anesthetic it means that I have to be looked after by a consultant at hospital. As some of you know, I live in the middle of nowhere, and about 15 miles from the nearest hospital, but I'm sure it will be fine. Bit of a shame though.

She wasn't sure about my sand and mud cravings, but if it's anything to worry about then it will come back in my bloods.

I was a bit naughty in my appointment though :blush:

ad my first MW appointment today and she asked if I wanted to be screened for Down's. I hesitated, and she said 'would it make a difference what the result was?' and I said no, of course not it wouldn't make any difference to me. Then she asked what OH thought.

OH was really full on about me getting the tests. He said he wants to know, and if the baby has it he thinks we should get a termination.

Now, there's no way in hell that would ever happen. OH would be gone before this baby! I have cared for special needs children before and it's a non issue for me, however, it's obviously an issue for him

Anyway, I had to apparently get tested within the next 3 days for it to be accurate and they couldn't fit me in so I declined. I'm not worried about it though.


I will continue to update this each week as things progress. I hope everyone has happy and healthy pregnancies, and for those who are TTC or WTT I wish you all the luck in the world and lots of baby dust.

polo_princess
May 9th, 2008, 15:02 PM
Blimey i had no idea you'd had such a rough time previously!!

All the more reason to take it easy this time around eh hun.

Congrats on starting a journal!!

Uvlollypop
May 9th, 2008, 15:41 PM
welcome to the journals

rafwife
Oct 8th, 2008, 20:26 PM
SECOND TRIMESTER

WEEK 15

A letter to my body this week, as it seems to have a mind of it's own!

Dear Body,

I know we haven't always seen eye to eye. If I decide that I do really need that last piece of cake then you punish me by always having it on view for the whole world to see on my thighs. If I try to treat you right, go to the gym, swim, do pilates then you reward me with aching muscles, blisters and a sore back.

I can't ignore the fact, however, that you have given me a great ass and killer boobs. I suppose all in all, we have a love hate relationship. I was willing to put up with this and not subject you to any quick 'fix me ups' or the latest fad diet.

However, I now feel you have gone too far. You've crossed the boundries Body and started to play dirty and I am not impressed.

I did not order stretch marks, nor do I want them. I am unsure if you have a returns policy, but if you do I would be glad to take you up on this. After all, I have no use for something like this and it seems to serve no purpose. I think, for future reference we should be clear on the following:

No stretch marks, leaky boobs, incontinence, sciatica or braxton hicks.

I understand that you may want something in return, so I hereby will eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.

I think we can come to some sort of understanding.

Yours,

rafwife

Week 16

Told the family about Bump this week. I figure I'd been putting it off for long enough really.

Dad was estatic, as were my siblings so that was a huge relief and made me very happy. Dad asked lots of questions too and seemed genuinely interested.

Then rang my Mum who basically said 'Oh, right ok. Well whatever makes you happy' then said she had to go as she had arrived at a pub.

Feel a bit deflated now, but glad it's over. :(

Week 17

Week 18

I had a bad horse riding accident. Fell off, and the horse kicked me with both back feet in the stomach and the impact caused a loud cracking sound in my back as I hit the ground. (I have horse shoe imprints and bruises now) Bump is perfect and apparently didn't notice the accident at all.

I was not fine. Broke my back (hairline fractures), compressed my spine, had internal bleeding and lots of muscle damage. For awhile i couldn't move my legs so we thought I was paralysed, but I'm now able to take steps with help. I'm doing a lot better, but still have a long way to go. I can sit for about 20mins, but can't yet dress myself, raise my arms, move independently, etc. There's no long lasting damage though, so now it's just a case of letting my body rest for a few weeks.

It was scary, for a long time. Some mornings I would wake up with blood on my sheets and be whisked down to ultrasound, where everything was confirmed as fine with the baby.

This was such a freak accident. I'm an experienced rider and had finished a schooling session and was getting off when the horse reared.

You take a lot of things for granted until you can't do them. I can't even sit up on my own, let alone use the toilet, brush my hair or simple little things like that. I have to rely on other people to care for me until I am stronger.

So I'm doing ok, much better than I have been. I realise a few people on BnB ride, so just a word of caution to stay safe and make sure someone is with you at all times.

Week 19

OH has been off work looking after me, but he can't stay forever as he's still based away. I hurt all over all the time and can't take anything for the pain because of Bump. I feel like such an idiot for putting myself in a dangerous situation after everything that's happened in this pregnancy. The doctors have told me it's lucky I can walk, and it's a miracle Bump wasn't killed. I don't think I could have lived with myself if that were the case. :(

I have my 20 week scan next week though, so hopefully that will cheer us all up.

Week 20

Feeling MUCH better this week. Still have lingering muscle and nerve pain but the bruises are fading.

Had my 20 week scan today which went very well. Bump looks healthy and everything looks fine despite the accident, which is great. Unfortunately, Bump was asleep for most of it so I have to go back in 2 weeks to be re-scanned to check heart, lungs etc but I don't mind as it just means that I get another scan! :p

The only other thing from my consultation today is that I have to see an Anesthetist in 4 weeks to dicuss my medical issues, and then a consultant to see if I can have a natural birth or need to have a c-section because of my accident. The c-section presents a problem though as I am allergic to anesthetics. Will be interesting to see what happens.



So I can confirm, that we're on...















































:happydance::happydance:TEAM PINK! :happydance::happydance:


OH and I are trying to choose between the names Sophie and Isabelle.

We also bought our pram today, a Silver Cross Freeway Linear. Picking it up tonight and I am VERY excited. :happydance:

Scan Pictures:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/sublime_envy/baby2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/sublime_envy/baby1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/sublime_envy/baby3.jpg

Week 21

Started getting Braxton Hicks this week and LOTS of round ligament pain. Not fun! Another one of these joys of pregnancy though.

On the bright side, I felt LO kick for the first time today! :happydance: I've felt lots of movements since about 16 weeks, but never a proper kick! She really booted me one. :cloud9:

OH and I also decided on the name Sophie this week, though we still have no idea about her middle name!

Week 22

I just had a half hour crying session. I feel so alone and down right now. :cry:

I have literally no one. Last year I had a good group of friends, but they'll all been posted away with the military and to be honest we don't speak as much. I don't really speak to my family, and OH's family ring once every week or so but it's just a 15 minute chat.

OH is posted away and comes home about once a month if he can. He's been posted since March. (Got my BFP in March)

I just feel so utterly alone. No friends, my nearest family is hundreds of miles away, no OH. Nothing. I come home everyday to an empty house and just fill time until I go to bed. I have no emotional support whatsoever and no one to talk to.

Feel miserable. :cry:

Week 23

Feeling better this week. I think my hormones were getting the better of me. :blush: It is hard being on my own, but it could be worse. OH could be at war, or we could have other children. I should be thankful for what I have really.

I finally got around to taking some pictures of my Silver Cross pram. So far it's my only baby item, and I don't really want to go shopping without my OH.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/sublime_envy/17072008409.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v609/sublime_envy/17072008408.jpg

Week 24

Made it to the 24 week milestone! :happydance: I feel so proud after everything that's happened in this pregnancy. I know that if LO were to come now it would be awful, and far too early but I still feel like I've reached a little goal in my pregnancy.

I've started getting a lot of bruises recently which is bizarre. It looks like someone's been smacking me about! lol. Apparently you bruise more easily in the second tri due to increased blood flow. I think I'll wear long sleeved tops for awhile. :rofl:

Week 25

LO has been scaring me again this week. LO usually moves more often than not, but I've only felt her kick once since I woke up this morning. I've tried a warm bath which usually gets her going, and different foods. There's nothing else wrong, no cramps or anything like that.

I did think that the most likely thing was that she's turned around, or the placenta is in the way as she's always been very active so it doesn't make sense to suddenly go so quiet. Bump feels the same as always. It's been about 7 hours now and only one slight movement, not even a proper kick.

x x x x x

Ended up going into the labour ward after I started getting pains and cramps too. I rang up, and they said they'd have a listen in to see if LO was ok.

I ended up staying for a few hours, but LO is fine. They listened in with a doppler and her HB was lovely and strong. She's still not moving around, and they've told me to go back if I'm worried but I'm going for the wait and see approach. We think she's moved into an awkward position.

Week 26

I'm happy to say than LO is moving around more often now but isn't back to the normal amount of movements yet. However, I'm happy that everything is fine and she's just wedged herself in somewhere comfy. :)

My midwife only comes to my village practice once every two weeks. I tried to book an appointment for 23 weeks, and she was on holiday. Fine, everyone needs a holiday but thought it odd that the practice hadn't told her few patients. So I booked an appointment for today thinking I was already quite late. I wanted to ask her about the reduced movements too.

Only she doesn't turn up! :hissy: Went in for my appointment and the receptionist said she hadn't turned up for work today, and no one could reach her! I wasn't the first appointment of the day either, so why not ring me and let me know?

Do I have the most annoying midwife in the WORLD?! :hissy:

Week 27

Managed to get another midwife appointment booked, and she was very apologetic. I feel bad for getting so annoyed now! She's happy with LO and her HB and says that everything seems fine after last week.

I'm tired all the time again now though, I can't walk very far or do very much before I'm hot bothered and need to sit down. I mean, I literally get puffed out walking slowly up my stairs. I was in M&S the other day and someone offered to get me a seat as they thought I was going to faint. I also get pains quite a lot now too if I'm on my feet for too long. I suppose Braxton Hicks. Plus there's the never ending back pain.

I feel like it's snuck up on me. I mean, I haven't had enough time to "glow" in second tri yet!

Still, I'm off to third tri now. :happydance: Very exciting, and for a few moments in this pregnancy I did wonder if we were ever going to get there. I wonder what this stage of pregnancy will bring for me and my LO. :)

rafwife
Oct 8th, 2008, 20:27 PM
Decided to FINALLY update my journal :rofl:

Just need to write up the last few weeks and then I'm all set. :)

rafwife
Oct 13th, 2008, 00:51 AM
Hmm I'm getting a reading done by a psychic tomorrow. I'm a total skeptic, but I thought "hey, why not?". I'm actually looking forward to it as it will be interesting to see what she comes up with. All I've done is send her an email with my name and date of birth, nothing else.

I'll have to update the journal above to include the last few weeks. I got a 3D scan done this week, so will post up the pictures from that. It was amazing :cloud9:

rafwife
Oct 16th, 2008, 15:31 PM
So I've been interested in Hypnobirthing, as I want to have as natural a birth as possible. Ideally drug-free, but if I feel I need it at the time I won't refuse it.

Conveniently, my Aunt is a hypnobirthing teacher! So I'm meeting her for the first time in a couple of weeks for a one on one lesson and to pick up some books and CDs from her.

Yes, I'm a little skeptical because at the minute I don't know anything about it, but I think if it teaches you to control you breathing, and emotions and teaches you to focus then it can only be a good thing. I mean, women have been giving birth for hundreds of thousands of years without any pain relief, and just some good old fashioned grit and determination.

So I plan to do this properly, read the books, listen to the CDs, etc. I'll update my journal with my progress and then after I've had my little girl I will give an opinion on whether or not I felt it helped. :)

rafwife
Oct 17th, 2008, 20:36 PM
Things I Still Need To Buy

Cot
cot mattress
cot sheets
cot blankets
changing table
Hat, mittens and bootees
Changing mat
Nappies
Bottles/ teats/ bottle brush
Nursing bra
Moses basket mattress
Moses basket sheets
Moses basket blankets
baby walker
travel cot
high chair
Baby monitor
Breast pump
Baby lotion
Baby wipes
Bath thermometer
Nail scissors
Nappy bin
Thermometer for the nursery
Ear Thermometer
Safety Gates
Cupboard Safety Locks
toilet locks
Appliance Locks
Fireplace Bumpers
Pacifiers
Outlet Plugs
Door stops
Diaper rash lotions, oils, powders
Cotton Swabs
Cotton Balls
soft bathing towels

For Hospital

Dressing gown
Slippers
Socks
An old nightdress or T shirt to wear in labour
Snacks and drinks
Digital camera
Relaxation materials: books, magazines etc
TENS pain relief machine
Music to listen to
Going-home outfit
Breastfeeding bras
Breast pads
Maternity pads
Nightdress or pyjamas
Toiletries
Towels, hairbrush, toothbrush and toothpaste
Old knickers/cheap knickers/disposable knickers
Ear plugs

For baby:

Infant car seat
One outfit for the trip home (all-in-one stretchy outfits are easiest)
Baby blanket (a warm one if weather is cold)
Nappies
One pair of socks or booties
Hat
Jacket or snowsuit for winter
Muslin squares

xXDonnaXx
Oct 17th, 2008, 21:07 PM
:lol:Lol. I was like this a few weeks back. But got my butt in 1st gear & got it all.I took the Highchair - Safety Gates - Baby Walker - Playgym off my list.Because she can only use them at 3-4months or later.So I'll buy when she's ready to use them.:D I don't know if you want to get everything in advance,but I haven't. Lol. You'll soon have everything! :p

jolyn
Oct 17th, 2008, 21:17 PM
Hey hun, just reading through ur journal - noticed u were doing hypnobirthing, I'm also taking lessons so be interesting to see how urs go.

U've had a rough time of it hun, hopefully u'll hav uneventful final stretch which will lead you into a nice calm, hypnobirth.

I have a hypnobirthing thread running in the pg club forum so if you find anything interesting or want to share ur experience, please come and post.

Look forward to hearing about ur lovely classes and birth in the next few weeks :hugs:

Sophie1205
Oct 20th, 2008, 18:12 PM
Aww I didnt realise you had such a rough time to begin with!
Cant believe you went through all of that!
I loveee your pram! Its gorgeous!

xx